Dear Peanut Brittle

Dear Peanut Brittle,

People have always come between us. They’ve kept us apart for so long. As a child, my mum desperately warned me against you, and the dentist stopped us from seeing each other. Over the years you were difficult to chew, and yes, there have been times when I grew frustrated or annoyed when you got stuck in my teeth; but that tends to happen in a relationship. Anyway, don’t they say that all great couples go through hard times?

When I discovered you unopened in the cupboard today, I just simply had to have you. We didn’t take it slow, either; I ripped open your packet and jammed you into my mouth. My teeth were under prepared; they screamed in agony as I bit you so hard…

Remember the time you were at that party? The one with the chips and dip? Nobody knew who you were. You were all alone, but I knew. Except, there was that one kid, Stewart. He was curious, too curious. He walked on over to our table and stood between us.

‘What’s this?’ He asked.

‘You wouldn’t like it.’ I replied, bluntly.

‘It looks pretty nice.’ He said, leaning in.

‘Well, it’s not,’ I glared ‘why don’t you go and try some of those chips.’ I insisted.

‘No, I think I’m going to try some of these.’ He smiled.

That little shit. I’d never been a violent child, I just wanted to protect you, and keep you all to myself. My teeth had grown sharp from our time together, so I knew if I could bite into you, then imagine the damage I could have done to Stewart’s skinny little girly arm. Luckily, I didn’t resort to violence and came up with this instead.

‘You know what these are made of don’t you?’ I asked. He shook his head. ‘Peanuts.’ I said.

‘So what?’ He shrugged.

‘You’re allergic to peanuts.’ I snarled.

‘Am not.’ He frowned.

‘Am too,’ I replied ‘your mum told me.’

‘Am not’

‘Am too!’

Stewart looked around, but couldn’t spot his mother.

‘But, I guess you could have just one.’ I smiled.

‘What will happen if I eat one?’ He asked.

‘Well, I guess, you’ll probably end up dead.’ I replied.

So there we were, just the two of us hanging out at the party. By the end of the night my stomach ached, and my teeth were so sticky that my mouth was jammed shut. I’ll never forget it.

Love,

Chris.